In today's workplace, conflicts and misunderstandings are bound to arise. One of the most challenging situations is when there is a "he said, she said" scenario where two individuals have differing accounts of the same event. These types of situations can be particularly tricky to navigate because it can be challenging to determine who is telling the truth.

Moreover, these situations can quickly escalate and cause harm to workplace relationships, employee morale, and productivity. In this blog post, we'll explore some practical tips on how to handle "he said, she said" situations in the workplace and how to navigate them in a fair and objective manner.

Whether you're an employee, manager, or HR professional, the insights shared here will help you tackle these situations with confidence and professionalism.

What is a he said, she said situation?

A "he said, she said" situation is a conflict or dispute where two individuals have differing accounts of the same event, conversation, or situation. This term is commonly used to describe situations where two people offer conflicting versions of what occurred, and there is no clear evidence or witness to support either claim.

These types of situations are often subjective and can be challenging to navigate, as it can be difficult to determine who is telling the truth or what really happened. These situations can occur in any context, including the workplace, and can cause harm to relationships, morale, and productivity.

Different examples of he said, she said situations

"He said, she said" situations are a common occurrence in workplaces and can happen in a variety of contexts. In this section, we'll explore a few more examples of situations where two individuals have different accounts of the same event, conversation, or situation.

Conflict between Co-Workers

Suppose two co-workers get into an argument about a particular project, and both claim that the other person was being uncooperative or difficult to work with. The co-workers may have differing opinions about what occurred, and there may be no objective evidence to support either claim. This can lead to a "he said, she said" situation, making it challenging for management or HR to determine what actually happened.

Misunderstandings between Employees and Managers

Misunderstandings between employees and managers can often result in "he said, she said" situations. For example, an employee may ask their manager for time off work for personal reasons, and the manager denies the request, stating that it's not feasible based on the workload. The employee may claim that the manager was being unsympathetic or unfair, while the manager may argue that they were following company policy and acting in the best interests of the organization.

Bullying or Discrimination Allegations

Suppose an employee accuses a colleague or manager of bullying or discrimination. The accused party denies the allegations, stating that they treated the employee fairly and with respect. In this case, it becomes a "he said, she said" situation, as there is no clear evidence to support either claim.

Timekeeping Disputes

Timekeeping disputes are a common source of "he said, she said" situations. For example, an employee may claim that they worked overtime and were not compensated for it, while the employer may argue that the employee did not accurately report their hours. Without clear evidence, it can be challenging to determine who is telling the truth.

In all of these situations, there are differing accounts of what occurred, and it can be challenging to determine who is telling the truth. As a result, it's crucial to approach these situations with objectivity and fairness, gathering as much information as possible before making a decision. By doing so, workplace conflicts can be resolved quickly and effectively, leading to a more positive and productive work environment.

How to resolve these situations

Resolving "he said, she said" situations in the workplace can be challenging, but there are several steps that can help you navigate these conflicts effectively. Here are some tips for resolving these types of situations:

Gather Evidence: The first step in resolving "he said, she said" situations is to gather as much evidence as possible. This could include witness statements, video or audio recordings, emails or chat logs, and any other relevant documentation. Having objective evidence can help you make an informed decision and reduce the risk of bias.

Remain Objective: When dealing with conflicts, it's essential to remain objective and avoid taking sides. Be open-minded and listen to both sides of the story, focusing on the facts and evidence rather than personal biases or assumptions.

Conduct Interviews: Conducting interviews with both parties involved can help you get a better understanding of their perspectives and identify any underlying issues or misunderstandings. Ask open-ended questions and encourage both parties to share their side of the story.

Seek Mediation: If the conflict cannot be resolved through interviews or evidence, seek mediation. A neutral third party can help facilitate a discussion and guide both parties towards a resolution that is fair and mutually acceptable.

Establish Clear Policies and Procedures: Establishing clear policies and procedures for dealing with conflicts can help prevent "he said, she said" situations from occurring in the first place. Make sure employees understand the steps they should take if they encounter a conflict or dispute, and ensure that all policies and procedures are communicated effectively.

Tips to investigate the situation further

When dealing with "he said, she said" situations in the workplace, it's important to investigate further in order to make an informed decision. Here are a few additional tips for investigating these types of conflicts:

Create a timeline of events

A timeline provides a clear, chronological record of what occurred and when, helping you to identify any discrepancies or inconsistencies in the stories of the parties involved.

To create a timeline of events for alleged misconduct, you should start by getting a clear understanding of the allegation. Speak with the person who made the allegation and gather as much information as possible about what they claim happened.

Then, identify any witnesses to the alleged misconduct and speak with them. Ask them to provide a detailed account of what they saw or heard, including the date, time, and location of the incident. You should also review any documentation related to the alleged misconduct, such as emails, chat logs, or other records. These documents can provide valuable information about what occurred and when.

Once you've gathered all of the relevant information, you can create a chronological timeline of events. Start with the earliest incident and work your way forward, including details such as dates, times, and locations. This timeline can help you to identify any discrepancies or inconsistencies in the stories of the parties involved, making it easier to resolve the conflict. In addition, having a clear timeline can help you communicate your findings to others involved in the investigation, such as HR or management. Overall, creating a timeline of events is a critical strategy for resolving "he said, she said" situations.

Find ways to  corroborate each party's version of what happened

Corroborating evidence can help you verify the facts and get a clearer picture of what occurred.

One way to seek corroboration is to look for witnesses who can support each party's version of events. Witnesses can provide valuable information about what occurred and may be able to confirm or refute the stories of the parties involved. Additionally, you can look for physical evidence that supports each party's version of events, such as photographs, videos, or other documentation.

Another way to seek corroboration is to consider the credibility of each party's account. You can assess the reliability of each party's version of events by looking at their past behavior, their level of detail, and their consistency over time. Additionally, you can consider whether each party has any motive to lie or to misrepresent what happened.

Overall, seeking ways to corroborate each party's version of what did or didn't happen is a critical strategy for resolving any issues. By gathering as much information as possible and carefully evaluating the credibility of each party's account, you can make an informed decision and help ensure that justice is served.

Consider and assess the credibility of indirect parties

In such cases, it is important to consider and assess the credibility of indirect parties. Indirect parties may have overheard a conversation or observed behavior that is relevant to the incident. Even though they may not have witnessed the actual incident, their testimony can provide valuable insights into what happened.

Assessing the credibility of indirect parties can be challenging, but it is an important step in resolving conflicts. You can start by gathering as much information as possible about the indirect party's observation or conversation. You should also consider the relationship between the indirect party and the parties involved in the incident. For example, if the indirect party is a close friend or colleague of one of the parties involved, they may have a bias that could affect their testimony.

In addition, you should consider the credibility of the indirect party's account. Look for consistency in their story, and evaluate whether their account is supported by other evidence or testimony. You should also consider any potential motive the indirect party may have to lie or misrepresent what happened.

Overall, while it may be challenging to assess the credibility of indirect parties, it is an important step. By carefully evaluating their testimony and considering their relationship to the parties involved, you can get a clearer picture of what happened and make an informed decision.

Does it make any sense? Evaluate the logic of each story during workplace investigations

Another key strategy for resolving "he said, she said" situations is to evaluate the logic of each party's story during workplace investigations. You can do this by reviewing each party's account of what happened and looking for inconsistencies or gaps in their story.

When evaluating the logic of each party's story, it is important to consider the plausibility of their account. Ask yourself if the events they describe are logical and make sense based on the circumstances. Consider whether there are any contradictions or inconsistencies in their account, and evaluate whether their story is supported by other evidence or testimony.

Additionally, you should evaluate the credibility of each party's story by looking at their behavior before and after the incident. For example, if one party's story seems far-fetched or inconsistent with other evidence, you may want to consider whether they have a history of lying or misrepresenting the truth. On the other hand, if one party's story is consistent with other evidence and is supported by credible witnesses, it may be more likely to be true.

Overall, evaluating the logic of each party's story is an important step in resolving "he said, she said" situations. By carefully analyzing each party's account and looking for inconsistencies or gaps in their story, you can get a clearer picture of what happened and make an informed decision.

Do your best to get as many details as possible during investigation interviews

It is important to probe for details and look for consistency or contradiction in the "facts" provided by each party. This can help you to get a more complete and accurate picture of what occurred.

One way to probe for details is to ask open-ended questions that encourage the parties to provide more information about the incident. For example, you might ask questions like "Can you describe in detail what happened next?" or "What did you see or hear specifically?" By asking these types of questions, you can encourage the parties to provide more detailed information about what happened.

Another important aspect of probing for details is looking for consistency or contradiction in the "facts" provided by each party. As you conduct investigation interviews, you should pay close attention to the details provided by each party and compare them to the accounts provided by other parties or witnesses. If there are inconsistencies or contradictions in the details provided by each party, you should ask follow-up questions to try to reconcile these differences.

Overall, probing for details and looking for consistency or contradiction in the "facts" provided by each party is a critical aspect of resolving "he said, she said" situations. By gathering as much information as possible and carefully evaluating the details provided by each party, you can make an informed decision and help ensure that justice is served.

Think of the technology that can help with your investigation

Utilizing technology is another important strategy for resolving "he said, she said" situations. Technology can be used to corroborate important workplace investigation information and provide objective evidence that can help to resolve conflicts.

One example of technology that can be used during workplace investigations is video surveillance footage. If an incident occurred in an area that is covered by video surveillance, reviewing the footage can help to provide an objective account of what happened. This can be especially useful if there are conflicting accounts of the incident.

Another example of technology that can be used during workplace investigations is communication records. If the alleged misconduct involved phone calls, emails, or text messages, reviewing these records can help to provide a more complete picture of what happened. This can be especially useful if one party is accused of making inappropriate comments or engaging in harassment.

Finally, social media can also be a useful tool during workplace investigations. If the parties involved in the incident have social media accounts, reviewing their activity on these platforms can help to provide additional information about what happened. For example, if one party posted a message or image that is relevant to the incident, this can help to corroborate their account of what happened.

Overall, utilizing technology can be a powerful tool for resolving "he said, she said" situations. By using objective evidence to corroborate important information and provide a more complete picture of what happened, you can make an informed decision and help ensure that justice is served.

Need help with workplace investigations?

Consider using AllVoices to help with any he-said-she-said investigations. AllVoices provides a secure platform to confidentially collect information, evidence, and statements from everyone involved in the incident.